Monday, November 14, 2011

An email I sent to my friends (aka B, A, C, and P) a while ago

SO

I would like to preface this email by stating that I, Kelly Hoffman, for all intents and purposes, am an intelligent young woman. I spent 17 years in private schools and have had WAY to much math tutoring. I graduated with honors in both college and high school. I enjoy watching Jeopardy and the History Channel. I READ. Clearly, I'm a highly enlightened individual.
 
That being said, I learned something today that blew my effing mind

WOLVERINES ARE REAL AND ARE SMALL. 

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WTF: loook at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine they look like puppies! for almost 25 years i have thought wolverines were just wolves on hybrids and weren't real. 

WTF?!?!?!?!? I can't even put into words how shaken up I am by this revelation. Do you guys understand that I have spent my entire adult life thinking that wolverine were mythical creatures on par with unicorns? MY ENTIRE LIFE. but guess what? they are as real as you and me! They exist on this planet! They are  mammals! They've been classified! that is how real they are!

I've been google image seaching wolverines all afternoon and the only thing stopping me from leaving work because of having my mind literally BLOWN is this comical image:

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But you know what worries me the most? that I managed to get through 17 years of school without learning about wolverines. that in and of itself is mind blowing to me. I mean i took biology in high school and college level biology and evolution. Where was the information on wolverines! I freaking did labs on baby pigs  and how to figure out how I got blue eyes but no one ever talked about wolverines
 
Why am i so clueless about animals? I've been to the zoo and smithsonians! Did you guys know wolverines were real?

Thank you for listening.

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